In Honor of Don Alexander Kallidokos

In Honor of Don Alexander Kallidokos
by THL Beorn of the Northern Seas

As commissioned by
Her Royal Majesty Caid, Kolfinna:

Too few can match the lethal striking blade,
Or stand against the leaping lion’s might,
Don Alexander, few like you were made,
On you we may depend in any fight!

But let us not forget your genteel grace.
A nobler man could scarcely to be seen.
You serve with no reserve for time or place,
And doing so bring honor to your Queen!

There was a time when you did stand alone,
All fellow guards had fallen for Caid.
With blade well set and in a razor hone,
You vanquished all, what an impressive deed!

Some champions win the Consort’s field by arms,
Some through their arts or skills, by strength or guile.
But Alexander conquers with his charms,
His sword, his faith, his honor and his style!

It’s said that I sport an impressive span,
But Kallidokos has the larger heart,
In point of fact he is the greater man,
By bearing, manner, and the courtier’s art.

He slays the foes; he honors ladies all,
Though slightly built, to me, he’s ten feet tall!


The battle of the Boar and the Sloth
explained in Rhyme! by Lord Thomas Whitehart

(in honor of the crown tourney, and the battle of Sir Sven and Sir Edward)

Be careful, be careful, when you battle a sloth
For once they climb on, they never get off
They are Mighty hunters, no matter what say….
Consider the trees, they can’t get away…

Once long ago, in the Kingdom Caid
There once was a sloth, well known for speed
Quite deadly to bushes, to branches and vines
Just hanging around, to have a good time…

But suddenly, a great wind soon came to blow
And our gallant sloth, fell four floors below
He reached out to anything covered in green
And landed on top of a verdant porcine!

This Boar, was strolling though the jungle that day
An elegant winner of many, animal frays
The bears, the lions, had all learned at their cost
To leave the scene, when a boars at full wroth.

This particular Boar knew of his families curse
They are tasty critters, be it ham, bacon or `vurst
He tricked all the predators with guile and mirage
And waltzed through the forest in green camouflage

And thus my friends, we now set the scene,
Of an unlikely challenge, with both dressed in green
The sloth found himself landing on top of the boar
And sank in his claws, his purchase to shore.

Now sloths, are friendly, and not given to flight
Known for their smiles, and hanging on tight
The boar he whirled, and started to dance
His shaggy green partner would fall off perchance

Rare are battles tween a boar and a sloth
One rules the ground, and the other aloft
Their conflict was mighty, and filled with great deeds
As the sloth fought to hang on, to his deadly steed

As the combat raged on, the sloth thought of his bride
A huntress herself, with a sword at her side
If she were here, this “tree” would be quite slain
For the “branch” he held onto, had caused him some pain

Meanwhile, the Boar too, was inspired by his love
With long lethal talons, she hunts from above
If she was there, she would soon end this fight
This shaggy green monster would soon fear the night!

Alas, not near, were the warrior brides
The duo sped on, in this quizzical ride
At last at much effort, with both tired and spent
Collapsed the Boar, that elegant gent

Exhausted and puzzled, the sloth checked out the pig
He had not a leaf, not a branch or a twig
Lord Sloth apologized, for his lack of sight
And helped his new friend, to soon stand upright

The boar, bowed, low, and said “you have the field”
” And never for any creature, do I say yield”
And strange mossy, monster to you I must say…..
Meet me back here, in six month’s and a day!

So the king of the forest, in primeval Caid,
Is a slow moving creature, all covered in green
And if you think that my tale, is beyond all belief
Don’t come to our forest, and don’t be a leaf!